Have you been tired forever but have no depression?

Are you a morning person or a night person? Is your digestive system working normal? Or do you have Constipation or maybe diarrhea?Did you know your body has a rhythm and so  are all the organs in the body? I tend to ask my patients whether they wake up in the middle of their sleep at nigh and if so, at what time, because that tells me which organ is calling for help!

It does matter if you are a morning person or a night person. In Persian culture we have a say “ Aashegaan” stay awake at night and “Aarefaan” are awake in the morning. As poetic as we Persians are and love to ponder upon the feeling a word gives us, as well as how beautifully rimed, we use them often in poetry and in our daily conversations. However we may sometimes miss the physical meaning  and its practicality in our daily life.

“Aashegh” means “lover” the singular for Aasheghaan and 

“Aaref” mean the “mystic” the singular for “Aarefaan”.

Since a lot of people either love or had loved someone very passionately in their life and have had sleepless nights, it is easier to think of oneself or associate oneself with a “lover” and that makes it ok for them to stay awake until late even if there has not been a passionate love in their life since 173 years ago. The answer to the question of why do you sleep late is that I answer my e-mails, I watch a movie, I do things I had not time to do during the day. 

Now we need to consider that our body has a rhythm. Our adrenal glands produce cortisol which is called stress hormone. It is usually high in the morning and it decreases in the evening.

The balance of cortisol level is important for our overall health. The effects of having too much cortisol in the body can include weight gain, high blood pressure, muscle weakness, and severe mood swings that manifest in anxiety and/or depression. On the other hand, people who have an extremely low amount of cortisol are susceptible to experiencing problems such as dizziness, fatigue, weight loss and a peculiar darkening in certain parts of skin.

 To be sure about this you can have some tests run by your doctor. Do not suffice to the blood test in the morning since in about half an hour after you have been awake it can be very high, sometimes abnormally high but you need to add the amount of stress one has to actually go to a blood test for an additional cortisol production. Therefore it is clever to check the cortisol level in the urine sample as well as spit if you are chronically tired or over stressed. There are way too many other reasons for tiredness as well.

Now going back to whether you are a “lover“ or a “mystic”, observing the human body, its rhythm and function it seems to be that we are supposed to sleep early, as early as before 10:00 p.m. and wake up early, as early as between 4:30-6:30. Looking at the philosophy and religions, so to say at the intellectual and / or spiritual aspect of the matter we are supposed  to sleep early and wake up at dawn and meditate, pray, reflect and be the receivers of inspirations. The practical wisdom we read today and sometimes share on Facebook have been written by those “mystics”, “Lovers” mostly wrote poetry that touches our heart beautifully and resonates with what we may have felt or are feeling towards a loved one. “Mystics” enrich the mind. Don`t we need both? Yes we do. 

 Are you a morning person or a night person?  Are you a Lover or a Mystic? If you are not in love at the moment, I suggest try the Mystic and next time you will fall in love it will be in a mystic way .)  Which one has a healthier body? Probably the “Aaref” conditioning  he/she eats a healthy breakfast when wakes up that early.

Sleeping is one of the main aspects of a healthy lifestyle. The right diet, movement as of physical activities, regular meditation, and of course learning how to deal with emotions are all important in having a healthy lifestyle.There is no one key to health, no magic remedy, at the end of the day everything that is out there with the doctors, healers and, therapist, are just tools for an individual to help oneself. They are all outisders whereas the real health begins from within when “ I “ decide I want to help, support and nurture myself.

Do I want to stay awake until late or do I want to sleep early and wake up early? Do I want to start meditating? Do I want to socialize with people in a healthy way? Do I want to help others? Do I want to eat healthy regardless of how people around me are eating? Do I want to learn how to mange stress in this modern life? Or do I think and really believe I have no stress? 

The bottomline is I really really can not make great decisions and help the world if I am not even helping myself. Where do I start? Hmmmm start sleeping early and wake up early. Have a sound diet, you can consult with nutritionist but before that make sure your body is functioning well, have it checked with skillful doctor. You can always cut refined sugar, carbonated drinks such as cola and sparkling water. Eat more fresh vegetables and some fruits. 

Observe your cravings and see how beautiful they can change for healthy cravings after your doctor has fixed your minerals and vitamins.

Approach people with love and enthusiasm!

Do not feel despair if they do have your enthusiasm, we are all at different places in life.

Wear a “Simle" after you have put on your clean clothes! A smile goes a long way in the depth of the heart of every observer.

Health is way wider and deeper concept than the level of blood cells and cholesterol in a test paper. Health starts with a connection between “yourself” and  “ your (higher) self”. The connection is free no charge : )

+Rumi +Health Magazine 

Heartbreak or heart cracks?

Have you been in a relationship where you thought your heart was broken and pieces of it you are still collecting? Has that given you Insomnia? Probably there are other ways for ending a relationship to avoid the heartbreak, maybe just a little crack, when two people talk in a mature grown up way, and have taken every step to work on the relationship and it has not worked. 

Talk in a mature grown up way is not what we know in this world, we should learn it. Yes do you know a school or university that teaches that? If you do please send the leaders of the world so as instead of war they sit and talk in a mature and grown up way, make it compulsory for the members of parliaments to take that degree before occupying their seats in some parliaments. Have you seen sessions of UK parliament? They boo at each other!!!!!

Probably there is a way which many of us do not know that is why  we keep being heartbroken in relationships. However I believe understanding and sympathy  for a loving yet frank talk should be the first step, maybe honesty? Detachment from one`s own idea and wanting the best for the relationship? Oooooh this last one is tough.

The truth is some people do not have a sound mind, some have been diagnosed some have not, but how can you talk grown up to someone who is not well? 

That is an exception of course, my feeling, between you and I, is that the leaders of the world who make war are in this category! I mean can you imagine two little boy fighting for something? Yes. Two grown up man though, hey, how complicated this game or toy is that two sound minded (?) man can not resolve? 

I wonder where is the skilled doctor to diagnose them?

The reality of this world is that our doctors and psychologist are treating people who are ill as the side effect of the war, and this is what we have got used to. And somehow do not want to see it. 

We are often treating the side effect and not the reason.

You have an aquarium with a very good filter, it is beautiful, clear water, colorful fishes, you look at it and calmness sits on your heart. A dear friend`s child throws a small pot of plant filled with soil in it. Do you expect the filter to remove that? It will take forever and many of your beautiful fishes die until then. You aught to remove the pot and the soil and the plant that the kid just wanted to see if the fish would take a bite like a dog or a bird : ) The intension of the child does not count in what you will have to do. You will have to take step to safe the situation because you love the calmness that comes to your heart. You aught to safe the fishes.

In relationships we need to protect our hearts and minds. Sometimes you are dealing with sick people, sometimes with wounded people, sometimes you have to deal with your own traumas and wounds, it is never as black and white, there is always many shades of gray in between.

Hearts never break I heard in an old black & white movie, they only get wounded and the wound heals. We are all in healing process aren`t we? The healing process that is filled with hope, joy and enthusiasm for service,will have a good ending. 

If meanwhile you have Sleepless night, be it break or crack of heart, check the sleepless night or Insomnia hyperlinked in this text, you may need to fix few things.

The Flow between Doctor-Patient

Have you ever thought why was it that the scientists of the past for example Avicenna had so many different educations and interest and they were actually doctors of their own times? They knew philosophy, literature, geometry,maths and astronomy (different from astrology), knew about herbs and minerals yet they knew the effect of emotions on human body.

Avicenna whose name many of us have heard specially if we have been in medical school, as one of the founders of medicine. His books and scripts are still in practice by those doctors who do further education in that field and call themselves “Hakeem” (Hakim) a Persian/Arabic word for “The wise man” different from “Tabeeb”(tabib) that was referred to doctor. Hakim was more than just a doctor.

Avicenna knew astronomy, in his thoughts he knew the stars and their positions, their mathematical order in the universe, in his mind he soared in the universe but was logical and his  feet were on the ground. Once when he was attending to a young man as a patient who was suffering from palpitation (strong and fast heartbeat), as usual he asked many questions not only in regards to the health of the body but emotions too, he took the pulse of the young man and mentioned the name of the neighbor`s girl, the pulse raised and his conclusion was that the problem, at least, partially was emotional. He was a sensitive man this Avicenna the multilateral man I want to call him. He treated people with mainly diet, used herbs, minerals,  blood tapping and so many other methods he knew.

How would he feel in our world today? I do not want to go there because my feeling is that he would feel lonely in his profession like many of us unless, you are lucky as I am to work in a Clinic with colleagues who are professional and like-minded.

This brings me to the thought of how multilateral am I in my approach to healing and treating an ill person? I am striving and I know many other doctors are.

The truth is there is such a great similarity between the structure of an atom and the solar system. There is a sun and/or nucleus and everything else is circumambulating in adoration around that centre. What power or force keeps them to do that? what is that attraction? I want to believe it is the power of “Love”. 

That power is everywhere and in everything.That, we can direct, allow the flow of it or, block it, because we have been given the “Will” power a power that distinguishes us from animals and the rest of the creatures.The will power make us unique, because that means we can make a choice! To use it to control a situation or ease it and infuse it with love and build a future.

This brings me yet to a thought how powerful we are and how sweet and gentle that power is if the “will” is always for the flow of “love”.

My hope is to be able to listen to what my patients have to say, do the examinations and tests, yet, raise beyond what is and, consider the whole human being.

And that continues in our personal and daily interactions, to realize we are here for a reason, and to make it poetic, for a season, we need to realize the nobility of our soul, elevate our conversation, make them purposeful, fill them with joy and dance it all the way.

"Lift up your hearts above the present and look with eyes of faith into the future! Today the seed is sown, the grain falls upon the earth, but behold the day will come when it shall rise a glorious tree and the branches thereof shall be laden with fruit. Rejoice and be glad that this day had dawned, try to realize its power, for it is indeed wonderful!"

Abdu`l-Baha

Are You Workaholic?

 Have you figured out what is your calling in life? Have you asked yourself what calls to you so strongly that you can not resist, knowing that it is truly yours to do? Or you haven't figured it out yet? That's alright. Probably you still have time to find out.

Today I read something from Rumi:

 "Let the beauty we love be what we do. There are hundred ways to kneel and kiss the ground."

And I am thinking when I graduated from medical school I had no clue what my calling was. Most of the "normal" people knew what they wanted to do, they wanted to work as a doctor. Of course I have no clue what normal is anymore, you know that about me. And I didn't want to "work" as a doctor, I wanted to passionately help people understand how precious their health was and how important it was to maintain that state of health and of course help them heal once the body is imbalanced.
Alas, I had not learned that in medical school.

Do I think that going to medical school was a waste of time? Nooooo! Absolutely not. There I learned about the beauty of human body and the immune system that is functioning better than any military in the world. There I learned how truly the universe is minimized in one single cell, how the miniature of solar system is in one single atom. Those facts were overwhelming and they still are.

Gaining knowledge in this world expands the inner wisdom that we already have. If our inner wisdom was the size of a dot compare to the whole knowledge of the world, by the time we graduate lets say from medical school, that dot has grown to a circle with the diameter of 1 cm or maybe yours is even larger, 3 cm :)
Probably as that dot gets bigger the surface and the contact with the knowledge of the world  also gets bigger, so  we realize there is more we don't know in another word, our perception of how much we don't know is greater too.

I am making a lot of sense to myself, I hope you get me too :)
That is why we shall never stop learning but we shall always trust the inner wisdom, the inner knowledge.

It seems to me that regardless of what you do, whatever you do, should be something you love.
And if you don't love what you do, as long as you "have to" do it, love it! If you don't, you won't survive, your body will give you a hint.

Make sure if what you do is a "have to" do, it is something you do temporarily and have your B plan which has actually been your  heart`s desire original A plan.
 Nothing in this world is sweeter than doing what you love to do. When you love your job, your job loves you too, then your committed & selfless YOU kicks in, then and only then, YOU will see who You really are!
That is when work becomes worship.

Inspired by You SecondMuse.

+XCity LifeMagazine +TV2 ØST +SoulPancake +Followup Team 

Writing out of love while in Beautiful Baden-Baden

I am here in these pictures.I am in Germany in a beautiful city called Baden-Baden to attend The International Clinical Symposium as well as participating in #Hans- Heinrich Reckeweg clinical Case Award Ceremony.

I walked around and spiritually got lost in the beauty of autumn, I inhaled the colors and meanwhile took some photos to share. I walked and as my heart filled up with the diversity of colors I dearly wished my loved ones were here with me so as I could share  this immense love with them.

I found the little pond and a bench and my soul took me there and I followed.

As I got closer I saw how sad actually that corner was. I couldn't resist not to take pictures of that. 

A deep sadness got all over my heart. I cried instead of the nature. 

Because no matter how much I tried to understand the logic of why leaving the garbage there and not put it in the bin next to the bench, I didn't get anywhere. There is no logic but a lack! Lack of education. 

The earth is our home. Our home is not limited to the wall or fence we have built around ourselves. The earth is our home.

Let's look for a garbage bin and if we don't find it we all have one at home :) yes...take it home.

#HEEL 

"All movies are worth watching"

Have you seen the Iranian movie "Taxi"? It is out in Oslo movie theaters.

The movie fascinated me with what it brought out of me. I am an Iranian,  and I think I am aware of what is happening in that country however, the way this story was put together had a certain lightness to  it. It did enlighten me and gave me a new version of how some people in Iran are, how they have changed. For example it is the most natural thing to execute people for whatever reason it maybe.

The truth is, there is absolute freedom of expression for some, therefore, they tell their truth and their truth is that it is ok to execute some people to teach a lesson to the rest!
It doesn`t cross their mind that the execution of small drug dealers by loads has`t helped the increase of drug addicts in Iran, it has`t crossed their mind that how on earth all the drugs gets in to a country so strict in it`s borders.

It seems that legal and illegal, real and unreal, have lost their real meaning, that the little girl in the movie is totally confused because what the teacher is trying to teach the kid in the school is killing her creativity and if she does`t have an uncle like Jafar Panahi thats what she is going to believe and that kind of a film maker she is going to become, a film maker who sees the reality of the society but stretches the truth of it, so badly until it is "presentable".

This made me think how often in our lives do we stretch the truth to make an acceptable point? Are we not lying to oneself then?

This movie as I said fascinated me with what it brought out of me.There are therefore as many interpretation of a movie as the number of the viewers and I am not interpreting it professionally because I am not a critic writer, I think a reasonably good article is on  review Los Angeles Times.

My enlightenment was that there is hope for this country and its people if proper education is put in place, an education that will not give space to superstition because it will be so available and accessible to all, an education that teaches us about diversity and respect for all regardless of their nationality,religion,race,temperament, gender and profession even if the man who asks for your daughter`s hand is from Afghanistan. : )
An education that encourages, empowers and polishes the gems within our kids, and have those wondering, garbage collecting children in schools and not expect them to be selfless when they are hungry.

For now with the pressure and dictatorship governing, we suffice to the goodwill of people who ask film makers to show and spread what is, through the art, and we salute them. Long live Jafar Panahi for you moved something in me.This is real art.

However, how do I want to contribute to this process?

+TaxiMovies +Nicolas Baraldi +Afghanistan Info Centre 

+TIFF +Golden Bear Academy +Golden Lion Academy

+Gunnar Larsen +Oslofilm AS 

+Andreas Ursin Hellebust  

صدای دوست

صدای دوست از آن سوی دنیا

با شوق، تعجب، پر از سوال،

گفت:

کجایی‌؟

و من:

آنجا که آدم برفی‌ها بچه‌ها را میسازند

آنجا که طنین سرما دماسنج را فلج می‌کند

آنجا که آسمانش در تاریکی‌ با نور شمال می‌رقصد

همان‌جا که انسانها روی راستانه ساکتند

که کشتزار‌هایش مترسک ندارد

و آب،

هدیه ابر و برف و کوه به انسانهاست

آنجا که طبیعتش

آرام آرام

گام به گام 

تو را به اوج می‌رساند

آنجا که آرام بودن و یکسان بودن

شرط اول نسل هاست

آنجا که انسان‌ها رنگا رنگند

اما،

آدم دلش برای کثرت تنگ میشود

همان "وحدت در کثرت" خودمان

آنجا که همه مثل هم مساویند و تفاوت‌ها دردناک

****

صدای دوست از آنسوی دنیا 

با شوق، تعجب، پر از سوال

اما خندید...

زبان قلب مرا خندید

و گفت:

وجود جنوبی تو آنجا چه می‌کند؟

گفتم:

یادت هست می‌گفتیم " کاش شمعی بودم در این تاریکی‌"؟

زبان قلب مرا خندید و گفت:

" کاش شمعی بودم در این تاریکی‌"...

صدای جنوبی خود را شنیدم پر از پرسش، پر از سوال..

تو کجایی؟

گفت: آنجا که کشتزار‌ها از فرط مترسک‌ها دیده نمیشوند

آنجا که آب دیگر هدیه کوه به انسانها نیست

واژه راستی‌ را بلند بلند دروغ می‌‌گویند

و آرام بودن،

اجباریست،

صدا نشانه قیام

و طبیعت گام به گام

به قعر میبردت

گفتم:

پس وجود عاشق تو آنجا چه می‌‌کند؟

خندید..

زبان قلب مرا خندید و گفت:

" کاش شمعی بودم در این تاریکی‌".
PariThemuse

Painting of M.Mohammadizadeh from Kerman,Iran

What if you were here?

And what if you were here in the next room laying down in bed daydreaming?

what if you were taking a shower?

what if you were sitting here on the other end of the sofa occupied with your cell phone browsing, “like”ing, commenting,poking, chatting perhaps with an interesting quiet, or a lonely one like yourself and I… and all that, in absolute silence…?

I sit here and imagine you are here in the next room laying down in bed daydreaming.

I imagine you are in the shower and you, are not singing, because you never did.

I imagine you are sitting on the other end of the sofa occupied with your cell phone, browsing, “like”ing, commenting, poking, chatting with an interesting someone…all in absolute silence.

I close my eyes, hear Chopin playing and feel whatever is…and I am thinking I am alone but not lonely.

Painting of Mohammad Mohammadzadeh #Kerman #Iran

Journey of life

What a journey is the journey of life sometimes it is long, as far as the journey of I to my higher self, sometimes as close as a trip from the earth to the moon. The moon that is right there in the sky and we see it almost every night, we can calculate how far it is and we can spend days and night to build the right machinery to go there. And the far journy to the higher self, no destination, no end, as endless as when I stare at the spirit of a flower, as deep as the potency of a drop from the ocean. In the drop I found the ocean, yet the ocean is ocean, the drop just a drop. But as the poet said when the drop joins the ocean it looses the self, it joins the higher self, it becomes one with it.

Are we not all drops of humanity, isn’t there one soul, one spirit and we are just drops, unique pieces of a higher Self, higher Being, the Spirit of love.

Do you have a list of good and bad people?

 

Have you got any unfinished business going on in your life? And by that I mean a relatinship which has remained unresolved, or at least one of the parties feels it was left unresolved?

What steps would you take to resolve it? Or, have you ignored it for so long and you think it is not worth digging in anymore?Do you beleive that tests of life will be repeated until we get it? In another word we keep bumping into the same people when it comes to relationship, be it men or women, until we finally get what is needed to be healed in ourselves? 

Don’t you hate it when you meet people who irritate you or, are unfair to you? Don’t you feel like they didn’t really get to know the reality of who you are?

What is your reality? Who are you really? Do you know how you want to be known? Or you let people judge you based on your reactions? Are you your reactions? How about when you were proacting? Wasn’t that a part of you too? Haven’t you been misjudged then if people only stamped you based on a single reaction?

It is sometimes challenging to be fair in our approach towards each other. We can be hard on each other and probably it originates from the way we see ourselves, the high expectation we have from oursleves, the perfection that doesn’t exists. We so wish we could be perfect and it is so frustrating not to be, that the mere observation of it in others can just blow our mind and nerves. How can someone be such a childish man or woman : ) How? Well just like I am so childish sometimes :) and maybe it is ok. Maybe I can start being forgiving towards myself and consquently forgiving towards others. 

Maybe we don’t need to have a list of good and bad people in our mind. Maybe we should keep people in our hearts rather than our mind, because mind is rational, judgmental and sometimes cruel. Heart is unreasonable, forgiving,  and compassionate.

Do you approve people with your mind or your heart?

If you had the magic stick what would you do?

 

If you had the Magic stick what would you do?

What if life is really a domino effect and you or I are the one move? What if our little act is „it”?

Not long ago when I was a child I was watching a black and white movie on TV, it must have been early 70s, a man was watching one of those old televisions and all of a sudden someone from the movie started talking to him and despite his unbelief he responded and literally stepped into the television and eneded up in the program. It all happend in few minutes just like a miracle. I never forget how astonished I was with all that.

Today this is an ordinary thing when we think about interactive TV shows or popular morning shows on private TV channels.

What I want to say is that someone dared to think and create that old movie I saw, he/she did or didn't have the vision but dared to dream and be creative. Now what is it I and you want to create?

I had a patient  yesterday in my office who was a mother of a young girl, she had herself stopped taking contraceptive pills because she was told they were not good, but she asked what would I suggest for her daughter who would soon be 16 year old.

I recalled what I had studied in medical school that 90% of  hepatoma (benign tumors of liver) occure amongst women who take contraceptives. Also how  the artificial hormones are  affecting the normal flora in the intestines and consequently increasing the growth of fungus in the body... and I also recalled I had taken contraceptives myself for a short while after I had been married... she agreed with the science but asked what is the alternative? And I said education, abstinence! Tell your daughter sex is for grown ups.Instead we can educate them about the importance of simple and basic things in life, like softness of a touch, taste of an apple, reflection in life, identifying quaities in  oneself  and others and maybe connecting with people, with men, at different levels.... well I managed to make the lady cry, and she said she was touched I didn't ask which part of what I had said because I thought I was being logical : )

After she left I didn’t have time to reflect but later in the evening I did. I live in a country where people are very honest, this allows me to be myself, I am Iranian, everytime I was honest I end up being interrogated with the revolutionary guards. Here I can be creative in my profession I can practice the theory that education and creating enthusiasm for health is a part of medical profession. 

Women can take contraceptives, so did I in a committed realtionship, however we should have the knowledge and make a choice and not to take it so easy. Whenever I ask young ladies in my practice whether they are on any medication they say no, and when I ask how about anti-baby pills? They say oh yes that I take! If that is not a chemical medication I wonder what is?

Now getting back to my original thought and question that brought me here:

"if you had the magic stick what would you do?"

I want to say I would end all the wars, but what if the wars start again because of lack of knowledge and understanding? What if it all starts again because of love for fake power?And I only had one magic move!!!

What would you do if you had the magic stick?

Do you greet yourself?

 I woke up and read my messages, answered some, made appointments, canceled appointments, participated in discussions on social media,read something,” like-ed” something, even shared some stuf, and all that while I was still in bed, early morning, as early as  still dark in Oslo.

 My bed is comfortable, white and so welcoming. My feeling was „stay a little longer”. I then thought about my work and felt energized and jump out of bed. I looked at my hair in the mirror. Every morning I do that, checking whether I look like a lion or is it ok : ) then I look into the depth of my own eyes and say to myself „good morning little Pari”.

Some mornings I forget to greet myself, maybe those are the mornings my body is confused and unrested, maybe my thoughts are disturbed because my heart had been expectant the night before. Maybe I forgot I exist beyond this body.

Today the bulb broke in my bathroom, I looked at it and smiled, it is so high and I can’t change that, and the ladder I have is a little one. A tall friend will come handy. I brought a bedside lamp in the bathroom the light of which has made the bathroom very romantic. In this dim light one looks different....so different I heard myself saying ”how ’ you doin?” as Joey used to say in „Friends” :)

I like the proper light because it shows all the realities and when you greet yourself or other people, you know who you are greeting. When winter comes and Norway gets really dark....people hide in their hoods, I do too. We hardly see the realities, we lit candles in our homes and that dim light is beautiful,everyone seems different in that light...so beautifully different.

Those mornings I remember to greet myself, when I look into the depth of my eyes and I almost see my own soul, I greet people differently. It is as if when I connect to my own soul, I can connect to theirs too. And the days I don’t look into my own soul, I look for shortcuts and back doors! Everything becomes invisible when I am invisible to myself. Then I start labeling myself, I am angry, I am shy, I am irritated, I am a woman PMS-ing, I am a man in my cave, I have pain, someone has died, someone has left me...whereas the truth is...I forgot to look into my own eyes this morning and greet my own soul... I left me...I forgot me, and that „me” is in pain, still alive,beyond the body, still connected to the source of all love and powers of the universe, waiting for the little Pari, little you, to connect to it.

Have you looked at your own eyes in the mirror and said ”Good morning” to your soul?

 

 

Do you have faith in your own lies to yourself?

 

Do you always tell the truth to yourself? Do you lie to yourself? How often do you do that? Or maybe you never do that and you thought how can one lie to oneself?

Few years ago I was attending and, later tutoring a course, and one of the questions in the begining of the curriculum was ”can one lie to oneself?”

Indeed the nature of the material on that course was to raise awarness, create healthy discussions and understanding amongst the participants and I must say I learned a lot from the diverse answers and comments everyone gave and I still do when I tutor one of these courses, but to myself, at the very first time, it felt like it lightened up a whole area in my brain and of course that area went dark again : )

 I believe I do lie to myself and no matter how much I want to get rid of it, I find myself trapped into that darkness.

I find myself saying I beleive in the Oneness of Mankind when that part of mankind who are wondering in the streets of Oslo begging bothers me so much. 

I look in the mirror and see the wrinkles around my eyes and mouth , I sadly hear myself saying ” I should do something about that” when  originally  I beleive in the power of laughter and practically I know wrinkles are the foot print of laughters, at least in my life!

I say I have intolerant to milk when no test on earth can proove that and I know deep down I have problem with my mother and I am so tired to work on that I rather skip the milk.

I say ” it is ok, take care!” to a man who has broken my heart when I want to scream so loudly until God, love and universe will hear me and not give me the same guy over and over again.

I hear the news about lack of water in some parts of the world poor economical situations, war, racial prejudice and I whisper in my inner being „ we don’t have this problem in Norway” where deep down I know it is one earth and those who have those problems sooner or later will find their way to the streets of Oslo.

I find myself in the dark over and over again.

What lies do you say to yourself? Do you dare to go to that dark area in your head? If you know you lie to yourself, the mere awareness of it, will it make you a more conscious person about your own being? Will it help you to be a more truthful person? 

What will happen if all the people of the earth would be truthful? 

And this was yet another question on the curriculum on that course now that I recall :) 

What would happen if all the people of the earth would be truthful? 

Does this question navigate you to the bright side of your brain? It will if you are an optimistic person. If you are realistic you will think „ but how can that be possible”? What about the politicians? what about the lawyers? hehehe!

Are you a politician or a lawyer? Probably not! What if I decide to be truthful to myself? I haven’t even started with you : ) and I know that is none of my business. 

The thing is, only when I start ”doing” what I am ”being” that hope is created and faith is established in me.

”By Faith it is meant conscious knwoledge and the practice of good deeds”

 

Hell is cold in Oslo

The sun is shining over Olso and it is beautiful. If I were to follow Eckard Tolle’s suggestion of staying in „Now” and, I must admit  I am doing that right now, I probably will end up soaked in the rain a little later! The thing is when the sun shines in Oslo it is so special you would think it stays forever, the way it caresses your skin is so soft it simply takes you away even beyond „now” to the eternity.But then a simple white innocent cloud covering the sun brings you back to the” hell” which by the way is awefully „chilly” in Oslo.

Yes, you live in a cold hell and  a warm heaven a thousand times a day and that, hasn’t made these people moody! Only those who are in their menopause, PMS-ing, suffering from eating disoerders,drug addicts, people suffering from fibromyalgia,arthritis, thyroid illnesses, skin problems...all for a valid reason of course says I who is a woman and a  doctor and really feels for her patients.

These people are calm, when you stop them in the street to ask for a direction they give you a friendly smile, maybe because they see I am lost with my google map in my hand. Hmmm...now that I am writing about it...maybe they are actually finding it quite amusing.

The truth is I am one of those who has not much sense for orientation. It used to bother me and make me a bit anxious but now I joke about it. It seems to me that ever since I take my shortcomings easier and more with humor, I accept myself more fully... just the way I am. This doesn’t mean there is no place for development, but being critical and over analytical about everything in life is definitly the way towards depression and it happens so smoothly just like the way that innocent white cloud comes and covers the sun!All of a sudden you feel your life is all cloudy, chilly and depressing,you remeber the pain, it all aches, you forget there was a sun, there is a sun, shining right there and has only been covered temporarily with thoughts or just a though, fear of being left alone, maybe abandonment?

 Now you have probably heard about the average of 70,000 thoughts crossing our mind every day, I am not sure where does that come from I have not found the real source as yet, I just know there are so many thoughts, or better say so many clouds hah!?

The sun as perfect, warm,shiny and beautiful as it is,if I get too close to it, it will burn me, yet closer and it will consume me. Does that make the sun imperfect? Does that make me weak because I can’t stand too much intimacy with the sun? Is this about learning my boundaries and limitations? Is there any truth in this about being self-protective yet enjoying the sun from a distance?

I guess I have got carried away by the power of now : ) however, I have come to realize that external influences are immense on us and there are many thoughts that cross our mind, yet it is our choice to grab one, ponder upon it and to let go of another. Do I want to keep thinking about what I didn’t get? Wouldn’t that frustrate me?

 The good news is even behind that innocent white cloud that can sometimes get angry, dark and, grumpy you know the sun is still shining. Clouds will pass, just sit and observe for a short while and then start ”doing”!

Are you nr 1 in your relationship?

Have you ever felt you were number 2 in a relationship in which the other party was number 1 priority for you? Have you felt you had been number 2 in your family for lets say your parents when they had prefered your other sibling to you? How did that make you feel?

Have you been a daughter to a mother who wanted to have a son? Or are you a son to a mother who wanted to just have a little doll? Did she dressed you up as a girl? If only she knew what an impact this will have on your identity....

Have you been competetive in your life? Or, totally the opposite, at least thats what you think you are?

Did your parent want you to be the best at school so as they could brag about you? Was this a cover up for their unhappy marriage? Or were „you” their „goal” and your achievment was their pride?

Did your parent say they worry about you when they didn’t know what to do with their own stress? Didn’t you hate that? Are you not calling your boyfriend when you don’t hear from him because you worry??

Do you not feel integrated in the country you live? How about your work place? Do you belong anywhere at all? When was it that you felt you belonged to a place or situation? Do you suffer from some kind of thyroid problem?

When was the last time you got a good hug from someone you loved, from someone who loved you back?

Do you want to stop the pattern of being always number 2 in this life? What prevents you from doing that? You? Yourself? How does it feel to be nr 1 in a relationship?

Do you want to stop calling your boyfriend when he doesn’t send any sign from himself or do you want to maybe believe that your parents called you because they cared?

Do you want to belong? Or do you want to always live as an outsider in your family, with your in laws, at your workplace, in the country you live or in the community you have a membership? Is feeling of belonging a choice? Who has chosen that for you? Do you want to start making choices for yourself? Are you ready to take responsiblity in life regardless of whatever has happend in your childhood?Do you want to turn back and look into the mirror and this time see yourself for who you really are?

Do you fancy Comedians?

Do you go to comedy shows?Do you like one man shows? Do you know Peter Russell?Max Amini, Maz Jobrani, Omid djalili? Is it only me whose mind went away for a second to Bill Cosby? Do you also not know where to put him in the box of your laughters?

I went to Max Amini’s show recently in Latter (Oslo). He rocked! Unfortunately I had to run home so he didn’t get the chance to take a picture with me : ) but I laughed so much my facial muscles are still thanking me for going to that show. 

Ever since his show I have been thinking what makes a comedian popular? Is it only their jokes that are funny? Is it their connections, their smart managers, or they have lots of money for their own publicity? 

Many of their audiences really only laugh at their jokes without knowing what’s behind them, but the truth is they point out whole lot of social issues in their shows, and that reveals how intelligent they are beside being so funny. Max Amini clotheth whole lot of social matters with humor such as  racism and abuse of social benefits by the immigrants in Norway. He also encouraged inter-cultural marriages so much that I came to believe he is one big Matchmaker! : ) Why did he not turn on his own tinder in Norway, why why why?

Well I have come to believe that either these one man show comedians work hard behind the scene to prepare a show or they are simply geniuses, which in the second case I hate them...LOL

If there was a comedy show in this city in the languages I knew I would definitely go once a week because my facial muscles are so happy after that workout. And my heart, at awe, one more time, to the performers. Max Amini come back to Oslo...you forgot to take a selfie with me.