The sun is shining over Olso and it is beautiful. If I were
to follow Eckard Tolle’s suggestion of staying in „Now” and, I must admit I am doing that right now, I probably will
end up soaked in the rain a little later! The thing is when the sun shines in
Oslo it is so special you would think it stays forever, the way it caresses
your skin is so soft it simply takes you away even beyond „now” to the eternity.But
then a simple white innocent cloud covering the sun brings you back to the”
hell” which by the way is awefully „chilly” in Oslo.
Yes, you live in a cold hell and a warm heaven a thousand times a day and that,
hasn’t made these people moody! Only those who are in their menopause, PMS-ing,
suffering from eating disoerders,drug addicts, people suffering from
fibromyalgia,arthritis, thyroid illnesses, skin problems...all for a valid
reason of course says I who is a woman and a doctor and really feels for her patients.
These people are calm, when you stop them in the street to
ask for a direction they give you a friendly smile, maybe because they see I am
lost with my google map in my hand. Hmmm...now that I am writing about
it...maybe they are actually finding it quite amusing.
The truth is I am one of those who has not much sense for
orientation. It used to bother me and make me a bit anxious but now I joke
about it. It seems to me that ever since I take my shortcomings easier and more
with humor, I accept myself more fully... just the way I am. This doesn’t mean
there is no place for development, but being critical and over analytical about
everything in life is definitly the way towards depression and it happens so
smoothly just like the way that innocent white cloud comes and covers the sun!All
of a sudden you feel your life is all cloudy, chilly and depressing,you remeber
the pain, it all aches, you forget there was a sun, there is a sun, shining
right there and has only been covered temporarily with thoughts or just a
though, fear of being left alone, maybe abandonment?
Now you have probably
heard about the average of 70,000 thoughts crossing our mind every day, I am
not sure where does that come from I have not found the real source as yet, I
just know there are so many thoughts, or better say so many clouds hah!?
The sun as perfect, warm,shiny and beautiful as it is,if I
get too close to it, it will burn me, yet closer and it will consume me. Does
that make the sun imperfect? Does that make me weak because I can’t stand too
much intimacy with the sun? Is this about learning my boundaries and
limitations? Is there any truth in this about being self-protective yet
enjoying the sun from a distance?
I guess I have got carried away by the power of now : ) however,
I have come to realize that external influences are immense on us and there are
many thoughts that cross our mind, yet it is our choice to grab one, ponder
upon it and to let go of another. Do I want to keep thinking about what I didn’t
get? Wouldn’t that frustrate me?
The good news is even
behind that innocent white cloud that can sometimes get angry, dark and, grumpy
you know the sun is still shining. Clouds will pass, just sit and observe for a
short while and then start ”doing”!
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